Your child's self-esteem style is

THE MASKER

So what does this mean for them and how can you support them? Read on!...

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What makes a Masker Unique?

Maskers know how they want the world to see them. They haven't yet managed to celebrate who they really are underneath. They are experts at appearing to be coping and confident. They may take great care about their appearance and how they present themselves.

Here's a summary of key Masker features:

Socially Aware

Maskers are very aware of how they want to be seen by others.

Hardworking

They often work very hard to be seen by others in a certain way.

Sensitive

Underneath, maskers may be very sensitive and may find rejection or criticism very hard to cope with.

What to Watch Out For in Your Masker

Fear of Rejection and Criticism

Does your child have a fear that others will reject them, criticise them or laugh at them? They may feel they need to go to extreme lengths to prevent this from happening e.g. needing to have the "perfect" hair or clothing.

Easily Influenced By Others

As maskers are often desperate to be seen in a certain way, they can be vulnerable. They can be easily influenced by peers to do things they shouldn't do, or which don't ultimately make them feel good about themselves.

Maskers often end up in a peer group that fits with the image they are trying to present, rather than who they actually are. For example they might end up in the "cool but unkind to others" gang, even though they themselves are kind and thoughtful deep down.

Poor Sense of Identity

Because your masker is trying so hard to present a certain image, they may not actually know who they are as a person, or who they want to be. This can lead to a sense of emptiness, low mood and other mental health concerns.

Masker Top Tips

1. Give your child lots of empathy and understanding. It's natural for young people to want to fit in and be accepted. It's wired into our brains. As we evolved as cavemen, those who were rejected by their community ended up alone in harsh conditions and did not survive.

2. Identify their true values. What's important to them? How can they live a meaningful, enjoyable life that's in line with their values. Our values cards will help you and your child identify their values.

3. Identify places or groups where your child can relax and be themselves. Then encourage them to spend more time in these settings. This will build their self-esteem. For example, your child may feel they have to try very hard to be accepted at school. But at dance class they have true friends who accept them as they are, with no masking necessary.

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